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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is good, but the atmosphere is terrible."

"An unemployed prostitute approaches a brothel manager and asks for a job. The manager regrettably replies, ""Sorry, we have too many openings right now."""

"In support of France, Canada opens new French province called ""Quebec."""

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Hitler had big hands"

"The three of us have never been so insulted. My little brother told me ""YOUR mom is also MY mom!"""

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the P is silent!"

"[on deathbed - calls for son] "".....if you highlight the shit out of a document, people will think you read it....."""

"I walk around in public saying ""wait for me guys"" so everyone thinks I have friends."

"Irony Is getting pregnant on a pull out couch"

"My son's taking French and my daughter is learning sign language and now I have no idea what anyone's talking about anymore."