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Joke of the Day

"I get wetter as you get dryer. What am I? A necrophiliac."

"Did you hear about the prison breakout yesterday? Those prison guards should have used ProActiv."

"When my wife starts to sing .. I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"Napolean had a brother But you probably didn't know since they were bornaparte!"

"When everyone was giving apples to their teachers, I was the one giving cucumbers... Still to this day, Mr. Smith won't look me in the eyes."

"My wife is going sky diving and I'm truly terrified The last time something that large hit the ground the fucking dinosaurs died!"

"Baltimore, eat a snickers. You turn into Ferguson when you're hungry."

"Replaced my shoelaces with ear buds and now they tie themselves."

"You're like a prize winning fish. I don't know whether to eat you or mount you."

"Why didn't the Photon have any luggage on the plane? He was Travelling Light"