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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a ban-worthy girl A banshee"

"Everyone seems to like tinman from wizard of oz... But I can't stannum.>_>"

"You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else's shower."

"a fun pastime in America is driving teenage starlets into utter madness and then enjoying a hearty laugh afterwards"

"Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops."

"My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife."

"Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens? He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone."

"If my dog barks at you we can't be friends, also, I hate you too."

"If Gandhi went on a 100 day journey with no shoes or toiletries... ... he would be a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"

"Fat girls don't have it so bad At least they can wipe their tears with their tits"