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Joke of the Day

"I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy cheap toilet paper."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use a whole chicken."

"What do you call a rich man's white tank top? A trophy wife beater."

"How do you recycle a condom Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"Did you hear about the guy who didn't accomplish anything in his life? Neither did I."

"What are Germans most thankful for on the internet? Danke Memes"

"When I die I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time."

"I just saved a ton of money on my Christmas shopping by expressing my political views on facebook."

"It's amazing how eating such a small amount of dog food can cause such a large amount of concern from the people at the pet store."

"If I looked down and saw Steve Buscemi between my legs, I'm pretty sure I'd think I was having a miscarriage."