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Joke of the Day

"Buffet Why did the guy at the all you can eat place go from one serving table to the other? To get to the other sides."

"I bought a new book today called X-ray vision for beginners.' I'm having a look through it now."

"Before twitter I would walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. nnNow, I don't even walk into the right room"

"LPT: Don't spend you time posting LPT on reddit. No one on reddit has a life."

"She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk."

"God: I made a rainbow! Devil: I'm making all the fire alarm batteries die in the middle of the night."

"Nothing is more terrifying than putting back a shirt without folding it and then making eye contact with the shopping assistant."

"Did you hear how Argentina lost the game? heard it was pretty Messi"

"Brain: he must study-how? *Hormones raise hand* H: we could hit him with pimples, kill the social life? B: *whispers* It's for his own good."

"A redneck walks into a bar with a huge pile of shit in his hands... and says,""Hey, look what I almost stepped in."""