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Joke of the Day

"We've just put the swimming pool up for the kids, not sure if I'm gonna hide in it, but I'm definitely gonna... Lilo"

"Still waiting for mine to mature into adultneys."

"""Hey look, a cemetery"" Dad: ""People are just dyin' to get there."""

"Why doesn't anyone ever add Paul Walker on Xbox? He spends all of his time on the dashboard."

"Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life."

"What's red and green and spins round & round & round? A frog in a blender."

"What's it called when a cow kills itself? Mooicide ...Okay, fine, I'll leave..."

"What's another name for the child sex offender registry? The pedo file."

"After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her funeral before she died? To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party"

"What is the greatest joke in the world? My life. My life is a joke."