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Joke of the Day

"Black magic.... It doesn't work."

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"They call me the human Hoyer lift... because I'm good at picking up fat chicks."
"I'd tell you a joke about my dick... But it's way too long."
"People call me ""big"", ""dumb"", and ""stupid"", which confuses me because I'm actually not very big"
"He leans in, looks into my eyes, and lowers the lights. I go in for the kiss. And now I'm being escorted out of the opticians."
"How can Donald Trump avoid impeachment? By dropping out now."
"My cat doesn't listen to a word I say. That's why the cell phone she made me buy her only has a text message plan."
"Scroll no further, as it only get worse from here..."
"What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner? ""(1)/8"""
"how do you kill two priests toss a small boy between them and watch them fight to the death. The winner has to fight Michael Jackson"