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Joke of the Day

"Morning is like someone constantly whispering ""fuck you"" into your ear."

"Why does VALVE end with 2? Because they can't count to **3**"

"A wise man once said cheez doodles were better than cheetos, but his opinion was biased."

"I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting. I turned off the WiFi router and simply waited in the room where it's located."

"Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does."

"What's more useless than a condom at a feminist rally? Everyone there."

"Winnie the Pooh band-aids may look cute but are useless on stab wounds."

"What did the three-legged horse do when it started to rain? It ran to the unstable."

"What is the hardest part about eating vegetables? The wheelchair."

"I run faster horny than you do scared."