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Joke of the Day

"As confused as an atheist who's stuck behind a car that isn't moving at a green light & has a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love God"

"I've survived enough awkward high-fives to know they're not worth the risk"

"How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her."

"Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican. Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke."

"Ever blow bubbles as a kid? He's back in town and wants you to give him a call."

"Your momma's so fat. When she was born, the universe expanded."

"What is it called when the police work overtime? Copper Nitrate."

"Someone should invent padded underwear for men to get back at women for wearing pushup bras"

"When the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show comes on the TV. So do I."

"A man got a vasectomy without telling his wife. When she found out she said ""ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"" ""Yes, I'm not kidding you."" he said."