214266
Joke of the Day
"Bernie Sanders"
Next Joke
"Doctor: Describe your headache. Me: She's about 5'8"", blonde, and the mother of my children."
"The FDA is banning trans fats because they're bad for you... but OJ has actually killed people!"
"my floor was 5 years old, so i contacted someone to replace the old wood... I'm still waiting for a reply"
"Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas."
"Mom: So, do you have someone special in your life? Me: Define ""someone"" Mom: You know, a boyfriend. Me: Define ""boyfriend"""
"My sister graduated from college over a year ago and is still unemployed... I found her sobbing on the couch so I asked, ""having an existential cry, sis?"""
"Honey, do you think if we met now instead of 15 years ago, we'd still marry each other? {turn to see husband shaped hole in the wall}"
"My son just said he's going to write his name on our cat with a raisin. Guess I won't have to waste money on college."
"So proton calls up electron and says, ""Electron! It's proton, where the hell are you?"" And electron says, ""Um, I don't know. But I can tell you were I probably am!"""