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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife if we could do 68 tonight. She'd blow me, and I'd owe her one."

"How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He is drunk, and he tells the bulb to screw itself."

"My first job was a dishwasher at the National Radar Company Turns out the dishes were a lot larger than I first thought"

"My roommate is such a hypocrite when it comes to sharing. Apparently it's okay for him to finish my leftover pizza, but it's not okay for me to finish in his girlfriend."

"I wondered why the frisbee kept getting bigger then it hit me!"

"Babe, does this mole look suspicious to you? *Points at mole wearing sunglasses and a raincoat*"

"The WNBA Sorry, I put the punchline in the title"

"That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you."

"A terrorist is training a group of newbies ""Alright class, listen closely as I can only show you how to do this ONCE"""

"Haha my cousin's safeword is ""chalice."" (We don't have sex; I saw it cuz I hacked his email to get his salmon casserole recipe)"