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Joke of the Day

"A rehabilitated crack addict says to his doctor: ""I'm going to stay clean this time"" The doctor replied: ""I'm afraid that's just a pipe dream"""

"What's the difference between America and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture."

"My wife's idea of oral sex is to sit down and talk me out of it."

"A very wealthy man from Britain has purchased the Bates Motel.... Now it is Master Bates Motel.. I haven't had my coffee yet, this is the best I got"

"I've just bought the new Beach Boys mobile phone. The ringtones are shit but it has good vibrations."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's Dead."

"WD-40 is amazing stuff. ...But I should have used a condom."

"I often break into song The keys are so well hidden"

"Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down."

"A girl was taking an exam in class.... when she rose her hand and said ""This is making my hand sore. Can we do this orally?"""