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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition."

"Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician? because he didn't C#"

"Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game? Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry"

"If I had $100 for every time I'd had sex I might break even."

"What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360? The dashboard."

"What should you never ask at a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house."

"Once my credit card got stolen and I never reported it. The thief spent less than my wife."

"Happiness is a relative thing. I finally have some extra money and suddenly my relatives are happy."

"As a farmer I've heard lots of jokes about sheep. I told them to my dog but he'd heard them all."