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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the incompetent circumciser? He slipped and got the sack."
Next Joke
"I was wondering why I had pentagrams on my palms. Then I remembered: I've been using hand satanizer."
"[holding an acorn] ""do you still love me?"" Wife yells outside- ""that's not even the same squirrel as yesterday!"" ""Shaddup you!"""
"It's really hard being a good mother in this day and age. Especially when you're a college aged male with no kids."
"A Sleepwalking Nun What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' catholic"
"Trump: The less immigrants we bring in the better' .... .... .... ..... Pence: The fewer' .... .... .... Trump: I told you not to call me that yet'"
"Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!"
"What do you get from a Hebrew genie? A coupon for 10% off three Jewishes"
"What does Islamic extremists and skydivers have in common? they're both Paris shooters"
"An iPhone 7 walks into a bar ... I'll have a Jack please!"