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Joke of the Day

"If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now."

"You know what they say about location in real estate? Not much but they say it three times."

"The hurricane coming in is called Joaquin. When it leaves, does it Joaqout?"

"What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant? He gets the kids meal."

"the true test of a child is not how he treats his friends, but how he treats Minecraft villagers"

"I refuse to go bungee jumping.... ... I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one."

"Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war? Because they were alloys."

"""Hey, did you see that article about cats invading the internet?"" ""Yeah, I reddit."""

"Food snobs ""May I take your order? "" the waiter asked. ""Yes, how do you prepare your chickens? "" ""Nothing special sir,"" he replied. ""We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. """

"the poor people on welfare should not eat steak and sea food. they should be drinking raw sewage out of an old boot while thanking me"