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Joke of the Day
"Husband: I love you. Me: Bullshit name 2 of my albums."
Next Joke
"If a psychic midget escapes from police custody.... ... is she a small medium at large?"
"Very sick man asks the doctor, ""how long do I have?"" The doctor replies ""10."" ""10? 10 years? 10 months? 10 what?"" ""9...8...7..."""
"Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton."
"I wish black people took jokes... ...as well as they took bullets."
"[museum] Wheres the dinosaur bone exhibit? ""through that door"" Thank you very ruff! ""What'd you say?"" *2 dogs fall out of trench coat & run*"
"Doctor doctor I feel dead from the waist down. I'll arrange for you to be halfburied."
"Calling someone 'one in a million' in China means they aren't that special."
"We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco."
"My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery."