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Joke of the Day

"How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to pick up the phone and call some other asshole to do it."

"One sperm says to another... ""Hey, which way to the egg?"" The other sperm replies, ""I'm not sure, but we just passed the tonsils."""

"Waiter what's this bug doing waltzing around my table ! It's the band sir they are playing his tune !"

"Why is 12 the highest number rednecks can count to? How else would they know how many cans are in a 12 pack."

"The problem with speaking the truth is.. ..you assume others do too"

"What do you call a limbless swimmer? Bob."

"Giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails."

"Two satellites decide to get married. The wedding wasn't ""all that,"" but the reception was great!"

"A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: ""You're what?!?"""

"Two guys are talking in a bar. ""My wife just left me for my best friend."" ""Oh my! That's so bad! Since when was that dude your best friend?"" ""Since he left with my wife."""