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Joke of the Day

"Mom joke I told my friend I started going out with an older woman,so he asked her age. I told it was 42,when he replied wow she could be your mom. I just answered :yes,but she is yours."

"Why did the old man throw the matress out the window? Dementia"

"Somebody wrote ""wash me"" on my car. I'm so lazy, I just wrote ""no"" under it."

"[Twister] DOG 1: left paw green DOG 2: i told u this was a terrible idea DOG 1: cmon Jim just pick the green one DOG 2: THEYRE ALL GREY GARY"

"If you are Russian on your way to the bathroom and Russian when you get out, what are you in the bathroom? Puttin."

"How many dogs does it take to change a tampon? 26"

"Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!"

"Why did the pig have ink all over his face? Because it came out of the pen."

"My doctor said I need freshly squeezed orange juice everyday I cannot concentrate!"

"What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped."