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Joke of the Day

"Kids used to call me ""four eyes"" in school. I'm not sure if it was because of my nerd glasses or because I spelled my name Loriiii."

"Undertaker: ""What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?"" Wife: ""Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."""

"What do you call a union of writers? A writers' block"

"Why couldn't the man be bothered to look at the origami mountains? *because it was pay-per view.* ""paper view"""

"Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually agents will screw in just about anything."

"astrology then: I seek the meaning of human life in the stars. astrology now: If Capricorns Were A Type Of Noodle, They Would Be Rigatoni."

"Why don't birds wear underwear? Because, their pecker is on their head."

"""I set all the cattle free."" - Reverse Cowgirl"

"What do you call a abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled check."

"Anal sex... ...it's fucking shit!"