213108

Joke of the Day

"""I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."" Hotel Clerk ""No, it's regular porn, you sick bitch."""

"In case of a zombie apocalypse, I'm surrounding my house with treadmills."

"What's the first rule for hitting on girls? Hit them where it won't show."

"What's the difference between a virgin and a lightbulb? You can un-screw a lightbulb."

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach Even with butter, children don't like it."

"A man walks into a bar... ... because he didn't see it."

"What does an expensive circumcision have in common with a cheap circumcision? They're both a rip-off."

"How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a Mexican's job."

"""Dammit, I'm more than 15 minutes late for my three o'clock."" John 3:16."

"I love campfire smoke so much ... it brings tears to my eyes."