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Joke of the Day

"At the South Pole by Anne Tarctic"

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"I'm planning on releasing a fragrance based off of suffering. I'm going to call it ""Eau de Humanity"""
"How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Just because she's dead doesn't mean she can't still screw."
"Poor Chinese tourists have to buy souvenirs in other countries made by themselves in China."
"Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well."
"need a last minute valentine's day gift for that special lady? why not give her the timeless gift of my phone number"
"If my kid turns out to be a criminal, I am totally blaming Grand Theft Auto and not my shitty parenting."
"I invented a realistic sex simulator. It doesn't work on me because realistically nobody wants to have sex with me."
"Closing time, son ""Huh?"" You don't have to go home but you can't stay here ""But I live here Dad"" *Dad stares at me* Don't forget your Xbox"
"a quick zinger If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"