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Joke of the Day

"Nothing says ""I made it half-way to the American dream and gave up"" like above-ground pools."

"A new study shows dolphins have great memory. Memories include ""Swam in water"" and ""Ate""."

"I tried to set our Computers Password to ""MyDick"" But was disappointed when it said ""Error: Not Long Enough"""

"A teacher and the students Teacher: What does the chicken give you? Students: eggs! Teacher: What does the pig give you? Students: bacon! Teacher: What does the cow give you? Students: homework!"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"A rabbi and a priest are walking past a park, where they see a group of boys playing football The priest says ""Let's go over and screw them kids."" The rabbi replies ""Out of what?"""

"Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving."

"I read somewhere that Alligators only have to eat once every three weeks... if only that Disney Alligator could have waited one more day."

"Q: Why couldn't the faucet be within 100 feet of the pasta bowl? A: There was a restraining order."

"What do Reddit and building a mile long fence have in common? Post...repost.....repost....repost...repost..."