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Joke of the Day
"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His summer was ok."
Next Joke
"How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar? They both come in little cans."
"MISSED CONNECTION: I was the customer. You were the cable guy. You said you'd be here by 5 but you never came you piece of shit I'm gonna fi"
"That IS a banana in my pocket AND I'm happy to see you. Why must society make these two things mutually exclusive??"
"What's the difference... ...between Mick Jagger and an angry Scotsman? One says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says ""Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"""
"How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children? You put a guitar in his hands."
"What do you call a hatred for large plants? Bigotree"
"Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*"
"I've been dating a homeless women recently, and i think its getting serious. She asked me to move out with her."
"Cops got new drunk driving tests. There's one they pull out a wallet-size photo of Whoopi Goldberg & ask you, 'Is she attractive?'"