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Joke of the Day

"Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest? Because he was barefooted!!!"

"What do logicians use to shave? Occam's razor"

"[wife walks in on me rubbing coconut oil all over my body] What are you doing? ""Uhh, SOMEONE said I don't glisten very well?"""

"What English King invented the fireplace ? Alfred the grate !"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog Your just playing too much croquet!"

"Three nuns are walking down the street, when a streaker runs past them. The first one has a stroke The second one has a stroke And the third doesn't touch him."

"I've been getting fewer and fewer new followers but I'll be damned if I'm going to tweet something good just because some people have taste."

"why do people do drugs for fun like have you ever tried mac n cheese"

"Engineer Manager joke Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife? ""Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."""

"DO NOT OPEN.PLEASE. I like you, you little rebel."