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Joke of the Day

"Blind people can drive... Just mostly into things."

"Two doctors were discussing the game Proctologist:""Did you see the game last night?"" Neurologist: ""No, did we beat them?"" Proctologist: ""We didn't just beat em, we rectum!"

"This third bottle of wine has turned everything into a microphone."

"What's the prize for getting the Human Papilloma Virus? You get an a-wart!"

"I mentioned to my friend Hanz that today's the anniversary of the world trade center attacks. ""Nein, 11"" he said."

"A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, ""I don't know. It all happened so fast."""

"No, no, no, you don't have to engage in a long explanation of why you're single. We've spent five minutes together, I think I've got it."

"What's white and covers the road in the early morning? Employed people."

"I called the rape advice hotline... ...Turns out it's only for victims. Edit:: Guys relax! Its JUST A JOKE."

"Why do engineering students call themselves engineers? You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista."