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Joke of the Day

"I was watching a film with my little lad earlier.. He said, ""Dad I'm scared, is that woman going to die?"". I said ""Judging on the size of that horses cock, then yes son, I'm afraid so""."

"What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader"

"What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? There are twenty of them. ( ) (v)"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero."

"As a parent, the only warm meal I get around here is ice cream."

"You know whats funnier than Philly... Your Religion"

"Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave."

"Don't you just hate when people reply with ""This?"" This."

"If two vegans have an argument... is it still considered beef?"

"TIL Doctors have successfully grafted eye lids on a patient using foreskin. The surgery went well, but now she's a little cock eyed."