212146

Joke of the Day

"I saw a pickup truck that said ""Silly boys trucks are for girls"". they have managed to put a kitchen in a truck. Technology is amazing."

"Parents, raise your kids well, or they grow up to be like your coworkers."

"I'm afraid of people who keep smiling all the time. I feel like they still have plenty of space left for more bodies in their basement."

"I'm coming out with a workout video called ""Beached Whale Body"". It's just a video of me sitting on my recliner with my computer on my lap and phone in hand."

"My friend got caught having a wank in the showers on a school trip It completely ruined our visit to Auschwitz"

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish? Lightbulb."

"Never try to annoy someone with bird puns Because toucan play at that game."

"A guy said he fantasizes about me in a bathtub filled with Big Mac sauce and I said YOU'RE DISGUSTING AND DISTURBED and see you at 8, Brian."

"i wish i could grow a burrito in my backyard. what if blades of grass were mini burritos. i could make a bed out of mini burritos."

"Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager."