211950

Joke of the Day

"Grow it out for the summer Nice one liner I thought of today- What do you think? Should I grow my wrists out for the summer? Or cut them now?"

"There's only one stereotype I like Sony."

"Two zombies, Greg and John, are sitting in the cemetery. Greg says: ""Didn`t Peter also want to come?"" John answers: ""Yes, but he is late."""

"Welcome to kleptomaniac club. I see you already took a brochure."

"What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"(CPR class) Wife to instructor: What if my knees start to hurt? Me to instructor: See what I'm up against?"

"Why was the plant embarrassed? It soiled itself. *Buh dum ts* *Dodges tomatoes*"

"How to parallel park: 1) Park somewhere else."

"How many ants are needed to fill an apartment? Ten-ants"

"My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong."