211873

Joke of the Day

"i wish my grandmother was alive to see the iPad air her mind would have been absolutely BLOWN AWAY. she loved her gen 4 iPad."

"Why is Santa Claus always so happy? He knows where all the bad girls live"

"Hate when you wake up & think it's the weekend but then realise death is inevitable eternal emptiness"

"Wife: This milk is 30 seconds past due, time to throw it out. Me: This milk is lumpy. I need a fork."

"Two men of African American descent are standing on the edge of a dock, peeing into the lake. The first man says, ""Water's cold today huh?"" The second one replies, ""Yeah...and deep too."""

"People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow."

"How can you tell when a woman is faking an orgasm? She screams her husbands name instead of yours"

"Heading down to the Autopsy Club later. It's open Mike night."

"Why don't people from Yorkshire use deodorant? Because they have no pits."

"If you've ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you've obviously never been married."