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Joke of the Day
"What was the dentist's horrific gastronomical invention? Tartar sauce."
Next Joke
"parents just reaming ms frizzle out at a pta meeting. ""you took our kids to god damn outer space. we didnt even have to sign a form"""
"Did you hear about the midget psychic that escaped from jail? He's a small medium at large."
"Breaking Bad is a horrible influence, making terrible things seem cool. Next thing you know, kids will want to start using flip phones."
"Wife: ""Notice anything?"" Me: ""Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?"" Wife: ""You forgot to wear pants."""
"Why can't blondes make Kool Aid? Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny little package."
"Told girl on flight she was pretty and she replied ""Tell me something I don't know."" So i asked if she remembered the quadratic formula."
"A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only plastic wrap for shorts... The shrink says, ""Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."""
"""oh cool a sewer level"" --nobody, ever, playing any video game, ever"
"The cat puked under my bed. Cleanup efforts only made it worse. It's time to renew our commitment to developing alternative sources of cute."