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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer? A loose Canon."

"What's the world's sexiest phone number extension? 6969"

"i wish i could grow a burrito in my backyard. what if blades of grass were mini burritos. i could make a bed out of mini burritos."

"Where did Mario and Luigi go to school? At 'Wass-a-matta U'"

"The worst time of day is when people start coming in the office. They are all cheerful and shit. Settle down jerks, it's work not an orgy."

"It's not fair how many boring things my nephew gets out of going to simply by shitting his pants."

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side"

"I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to resist sexting Oprah during my morning commute."

"I'm hungry A boy walks up to his dad. ""Dad I'm hungry."" ""Hi hungry!"" ""Dad I'm serious."" ""I'm sorry serious, I thought you were hungry."" The boy then dies of hunger."

"My guide on how to fall down a flight of stairs.. .. In just a few simple steps"