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Joke of the Day

"This ""violence in the workplace"" seminar is only teaching us what we shouldn't do. No fighting techniques or anything."

"[having daughter's new boyfriend (who I think is a caveman) over for dinner] so dave, how is work? *lights candle and watches his reaction*"

" Look, it's an octopi"

"How many feminists you need to change a lamp? ""That's not funny..."""

"Contrary to obvious physics, you can't attach a ceiling fan to your back and fly away like a helicopter."

"So you guys heard about this MySpace thing?"

"What do you call a will? a dead giveaway"

"What does Joaquin Phoenix say when a car almost hits him? ''Hey! I'm Joaquin here!''"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because of type advantage"

"I was pooping in a bathroom with no windows when the there was a power outage. When I had to wipe my butt I couldn't see shit."