211033

Joke of the Day

"I always thought I should be a comedian... ... because growing up my parents always told me I was a fucking joke."

"I don't speak french but I know a little german. He's sitting over there."

"Why did the plane crash because the pilots we're muffins"

"What do you call a postmodernist ravioli? An intellectual impasta'."

"How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer."

"I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It's obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola."

"What color were Kurt Cobaine's eyes? Blue. One blue one way and one blue the other way."

"Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? It wanted to be a first aid kit."

"Drop it! Please, just DROP IT. - My dog, whenever I'm eating."

"I'm ""had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing"" years old."