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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? Pilot."

"An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, ""What is that for?"""

"I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds. Then I got a Twitter account, and I'm over it."

"My roomate was bragging about getting top comment of the week on theCHIVE. Yeah, I reddit."

"Go to a fancy restaurant. Order the lobster. Order it alive. When it comes, order food for your new pet lobster. Then take lobster home."

"I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop masturbating. He said ""Sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop."""

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently, she left me a few days ago."

"What's the hardest part of telling a good gay joke? Keeping a straight face"

"Did you hear about the lady who walked backwards into an airplane propeller? Disassedher"

"What's the only difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? I can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball"