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Joke of the Day

"With my luck, I'll die and get reincarnated as myself."

"I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes."

"I start my job at a restaurant tomorrow I can't wait"

"TIFU by trying to kill a spider with axe body spray. Now his name is chad and he's fucking all the girl spiders in my house."

"What does Tupac Shakur and Oceans 13 have in common?... They were both shot in Vegas!"

"I'm always just a bit disappointed when a liars pants don't actually catch on fire."

"What's the definition of ""Macho Man"" A guy who comes in 1st and 2nd in a circle jerk."

"At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date."

"Why is the Ocean blue? Because the fish go blublublu."

"Remember the undies with the days of the week on them, Monday, Tuesday....? In Romania we had something similar, our girls on their undies had January, February...."