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Joke of the Day

"While climbing barefoot up mountains to meditate, Ghandi would squeeze garlic into his mouth to deal with hunger pains from fasting super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis"

"Pencil Me In Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day? Girl: Yes, February 14th."

"What can you sit on, brush your teeth with, and eat soup with? A chair, a toothbrush, and a spoon."

"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore. She's a head master."

"Damn girl, are you a maple tree? Cause I would tap that, and you have an impressive root structure which is where this metaphor falls apart."

"Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs? Episcopaleontologists"

"A bad joke.... Two sailors walk into a bar. And both come out. (If you know this joke, great)"

"Do you smoke... The Lady asked,"" Do you Smoke after Sex?"" I said,"" My gosh I never Looked!!!"""

"I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public."

"""Of course I can paint your ceiling,"" Michaelangelo scoffed. ""Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out on it though."""