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Joke of the Day

"This girl text me: ""your adorable I text back: no YOU'RE adorable Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo..."

"Two prostitutes are discussing One asks the other: -What did you ask to Santa Claus this year? The other one answers: -Oh fifty dollars, like everybody else, why?"

"How do you deal with ignorant people? I really don't know."

"How do lumber theives offload their stolen goods? They fence it."

"When you get laid off. :("

"Dating Tips. C all her 69 times a day. R ing her doorbell and hide. E avesdrop by phone tapping. E ye her bffs. P oke her on FB."

"You know why I like having sex while I'm camping? It's fucking in tents"

"Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee."

"Since I've been on my own, I no longer trust a whole gallon of milk... The problem is every time I bring it into my house, it doesn't get drunk. It gets wasted."

"Nuts I like: -Cashew. -Almond. -Pistachio. Nuts I don't like: -Hairy. -Religious."