210367

Joke of the Day

"You excited to watch the Super Bowl? ""Ya, but only cuz the commercials."" [sounds of man being beaten to death with bowl of chips and dip]"

"My Grandpa said, ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"There's a theory that Princess Diana had dandruff. They found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"""Oh, this one? It's an excuse to tell a story about my life that only I think is interesting"" - literally all tattoos"

"What happens to Pastors who eat chili dogs? They have to sit in their own pew."

"What's the difference between a snowman and snow woman? Snowballs"

"I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy. I mean girl."

"How to change a baby: 1. Swap it out with a Labrador pup when no one's looking"

"Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel."

"Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats? Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt."