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Joke of the Day

"Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night. He was so bad, a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out."

"What do you call an attractive ghost butt that is at max poop capacity? Booootyfull"

"What would shakira be singing if she had been data scientist? Tsamina mina eh eh... ""Weka Weka"" eh eh..."

"Is that gluten free? You mean Kosher for Passover, right?"

"Your ""COEXIST"" sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace."

"I play music for the National Alzheimer's Awareness club ""Somebody I used to know"" probably wasn't the best song to pick"

"You might want to read all of my tweets... so that when the movie comes out you can be all pompous and say the timeline was better."

"Isaac Newton couldn't become a surgeon ... because blood is non-Newtonian!"

"Why do women wear make up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink"

"Q: What's the difference between a cello and a violin? A: A cello burns longer."