210040
Joke of the Day
"This silence is far from golden... which reminds me. I need to shower."
Next Joke
"What's faster hot or cold? Hot! Because anyone can catch a cold! buh duh tsst"
"Mommy told me I should make some friends So I became a necromancer"
"Jesus Christ. They stole your tweet. Not your first born son."
"[Parent-Teacher Conference] Teacher: ..if another kid is mean to her, she calmly walks away Me: *flips table* WHICH KID IS MEAN TO HER?!?!"
"I'm not a big fan of loud music I guess its just not my forte"
"Hipsters don't sleep with pillows because neither side is cool enough."
"Eastman School of Music Fart Scale circa 1963 (no kidding - I did not make this up) In order of increasing pitch: Fahhrt Fuzz Fitty-Fuzz Poot Tarass Rattler"
"What Does a Gynecologist and a Pizza worker have in common? They both get to smell it, but neither gets to eat it."
"What shampoo did Paul Walker use? Head and shoulders, they were on the dashboard"