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Joke of the Day

"My joke Did you hear about the procrastinator telling a joke. Answer. I,l tell you later."

"Wow my pants are really loose today *skips to the nearest vending machine*"

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis [cough], father [ah], ladder"

"Two elephants jumped off a cliff....... BOOM BOOM!"

"What type of train gets fat? A chew chew train..."

"If I were a shepherd, I would never take inventory of my flock for fear of falling asleep on the job."

"I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper. But there was no plot."

"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking"

"*Godzilla screeching in pain as he accidentally steps on Legoland*"

"Just bought a sweet British accent off of Daniel Craig's List."