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Joke of the Day

"Was chopping herbs and got some in my eye now im parsley sighted"

"Official Adrian Peterson Joke Thread Submit your best AP jokes and get upvotes. Easy enough, eh?"

"Before the wedding I have loved all the women on earth, after the wedding one woman less."

"What's it called when the queen farts? Helium Neon Argon Krypton Xenon Radon"

"I have 5 uncles. Scott, Daniel, Bob, Tate, And the one that works at Nintendo."

"*playing Mortal Kombat* Her: Can I try? Me: Sure. Her: Which one of them shoots that Handookie thingie? Me: Hadouken? Her: Yea. Me: Leave."

"I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race."

"Twilight's like soccer. They run around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand."

"How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool? Ask them to get out of the pool."

"Preacher: God's love is unconditional! Me: Then why is there a hell? Preacher:...... Me: Your move."