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Joke of the Day

"Well well well if it isn't my old nemesis, long division."

"Sex is hereditary... ... if your parents never had it you won't either."

"Fun fact: When swimming upstream, salmon can jump up as high as 6 feet. Unless its a white salmon."

"What concert cost 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickleback."

"I told my mom that bukkake is Japanese for bundt cake... I hope I'm there when she orders dessert at the steak house."

"Calm the fuck down, Nutrition Facts labels on bottled water."

"Why is God depressed? Imagine...*You* Being God, the Lord, Him... But imagine us."

"What do you call Trump's barber? Orange peeler"

"Did you hear about the surgeon that got sacked for having sex with his patients? It's a shame really. He was a damn good vet."

"Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party."