209559

Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw"

"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Sometimes I drink to cure my malaise. If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise?"

"Bigfoot walks into a bar.. The bartender is no longer able to discern reality and spends the rest of his life in a mental institution."

"Take it easy, guy who posts 10,000 pics of his baby on Facebook. We get it already. You got laid once."

"We All KEA! My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was told by my boss that employees needed to go to the meeting room before every shift. I asked why. He said, ""Assembly required."""

"Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me. Then he turned around and asked me a question."

"Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment. We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed."

"Sometimes I think you have good taste in clothing as I try on your sundress. Other times I think you need a better home security system"

"So, to re-cap... ...I put the top back on my pen."