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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw"

"My dentist... has the heart of a lion. ( sitting on his office table)"

"I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me."

"What did the Wonderbra say to the regular bra? Do you even lift?"

"Donald Trump and Jeremy Clarkson are now in the same line of work The unemployment line"

"Absentmindedness SHE""I consider, John, that sheep are the stupidest creatures living."" HE(absent-mindedly)""Yes, my lamb."""

"What do ghosts get arrested for? Possession."

"If the President rides equestrian without a saddle, what do you call the animal he's on? Bare Horse One."

"My bird puns are so EGG-cellent - Do you wanna hear a bird pun? - No - Well... this is HAWK-ward - dammit"

"Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common? A: They can both drive you crazy."