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Joke of the Day

"Classicle Dance insult Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"""What are you doing tonight?"" Gonna smoke some Herb. ""Nice."" -guys who work in a crematorium"

"What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!"

"Quit criticizing the girls that take slutty pics and put them on Facebook! I like looking at them you homo!"

"Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?"

"Appreciation speech I'd like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My fingers, I can always count on them, and the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets I'm here all week."

"""I'll have a rum and coke"" Is pepsi ok? ""Sure whatever"" *hands you a pepsi and coke*"

"ISIS frequently takes credit for random attacks even when they had nothing to do with them, making ISIS basically the Fat Jew of terrorism"

"News: Man dies of heart attack while donating to a sperm bank He came and went at the same time"

"How did the massage therapist lose all of his customers? He rubbed them all the wrong way"