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Joke of the Day

"neil diamond........ Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal, he changed his name when the pressure got to him."

"what cross road chicken"

"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

"How do you tell the difference between a Syrian hospital and an ISIS military base? I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone."

"Weird how people think I won't summon Satan when they talk to me while chewing."

"I'm about to have sex with my second cousin. Hopefully she's as good as the first one."

"What do you call a fish who works for the government? An Official."

"i'd tell a joke about food but... It'll be of bad taste"

"They say never go food shopping when you're hungry ... haven't ""they"" heard that ""seven days without food makes one weak?"""

"Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit."