20918

Joke of the Day

"Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first? A: Who cares!"

"Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It's not a bulb it's a globe."

"If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy."

"Have you seen the new Stephen Hawking's movie? They say it's too good you won't be able to move from your seat the entire film."

"What's the only animal with a cunt on its back? A police horse."

"Don't try to fix your computer the same day you quit drinking. You. Will. Relapse."

"Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn't that hungry."

"Why was Mussolini never invited to parties? He was always fascistly late."

"Some people hate the thought of adult diapers.... But I say, ""It's just Depends."""

"I think walking in on my parents having sex would be less awkward than standing over your shoulder while you show me a YouTube video."