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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys know about the security guard who got fired from the Sperm Bank? He got caught drinking in the job."

"*Arrives to save damsel in distress* Me: ""Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your--"" Rapunzel: ""I have a boyfriend."" Dragon flying by: ""BURN!!"""

"How many Persona fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. 1 to screw it in, and 1 to complain that it's not dark enough."

"If I ever commit suicide, I wanna jump off a cliff w/an open umbrella so people wonder if I thought it would bring me safely to the ground."

"It's me Goan Goan who?...... Goan fuck yourself"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves free"

"What is the speed of sex? 68... because at 69 you have to turn around"

"A sign language interpreter said to his customer... My apologies, my finger got stuck between the door so I may have a bit of a lisp."

"How do you make gold soup? Put 14 carrots in it."

"What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship? He turns off his Xbox."