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Joke of the Day

"What's the one good thing about a pedophile? They drive slow through school zones."

"My friends got tired of the ""Chinese Fire Drill"". Instead, we shout ""Triangle Fire Drill"", lock the car doors and scream until we reach our destination."

"Women freeze their eggs until they are ready to be a mom? Can I freeze my two year old until I'm ready?"

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop? OH CARP!!!"

"I don't have Instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow"

"One day I'm probably going to be too lazy to breathe and just die."

"Why can't you cross the Mexican border in groups of three? There's no tres-passing!"

"I hate when a texting convo goes like this You: heyy. Them: hey! You: watzup? Them: nothin wbu? You: same. Them: cool. You: yea Them: haha. You: lol. Them: yep."

"The Night's Watch opens a drinking establishment to attract new brothers. They call it the Crow Bar."