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Joke of the Day

"This is an anti-joke!! What's green and has wheels?? Grass!!! I lied about the wheels!!"

"whoever decided how to spell camouflage is a terrible terrible person"

"If your car is too heavy You can always use lighter fuel."

"""Huge hole found growing on surface of Sun"" *drops string cheese* ""This hole is no cause for alarm"" *picks up string cheese*"

"A CRAZY PERSON IN THE WOODS Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods? A: They take the psychopath."

"I clocked this beautiful woman earlier. I'll probably never see her again it was a pretty big clock."

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs."

"Police: ""You were going fast."" Me: ""I was trying to keep up with traffic."" Police: ""There isn't any."" Me: ""That's how far behind I am!"""

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? They got 6 months each."

"If Ryan Gosling doesn't ask me to be his valentine, I'm moving on. This ship has sailed. This ball has sunk. This fart has flatulated."